This (spiderman) and that (the bad plus)

First order of the day, I must make my opinion known about Spidey the Third. Normally, I watch blockbuster epics on opening night because I love the experience, not because I think they’ll be really great movies (see Star Wars III, Superman, and Pirates of the Caribbean II). All of these movies are pretty good, and I liked the first two Spidermen. At least they entertained and had good stories to tell. So I wasn’t expecting much less for the third one. I should have. Read this review to get an idea of my opinion.

Frankly, it’s the worst movie I’ve seen in quite some time. What do you get when you mash together
1) No coherent or compelling story (or, if you’d rather, several disjointed plotlines)
2) No suspension of disbelief
3) Two pathetic, unconvincing main characters
4) Black gook from outer space (since when does the change from good to evil mean changing from “dorky awkward” to “dorky cool”? I’m sorry, but it’s all just plain dorky to me.)
5) A climax where, inexplicably, a butler spills the beans after keeping his mouth shut for no apparent reason. Hm, looks like Raimi found a convenient way to fill that plot hole.
7) unsympathetic and boring villains (a lot of people liked the Sandman, and yes, the special effects were cool, but the character was too distant, too mysterious, and frankly, too boring; and I won’t even talk about Topher Grace’s fang-man persona – ugh).
7) Glaring lack of visual cues, horrible screenplay, and so-so acting

I could go on and on. I will admit a few redeeming qualities, although it’s dubious whether redemption is even possible for this horror of a movie: like Heidi, I loved the scene with Bruce Campbell; there were some good action scenes; and there were some quality themes of forgiveness and doing the right thing. However, Toby Maguire’s “you always have a choice” narrative to conclude the movie prompted me to respond, cynically, “Yes, you always have a choice…unless, of course, the black gook takes over.”

All right, there’s my rant. I wasn’t going to write it, but after snooping around the blogosphere and finding so many positive reviews, I couldn’t resist.

Second, buy Prog by The Bad Plus. They cover David Bowie and Tears for Fears. What more could you want? Oh, they’re also tight and have great composition. Truly a unique jazz sound. I’m writing my papers to their sounds right now, and it’s going swimmingly.

Back to the grindstone…

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