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April 27, 2007
unmotivated
I'm in the midst of working on two papers, one on the Iranian press and the other on Hassan al-Turabi, the Sudanese Islamist, but I have deadlines for neither. Professor Haqqani seemed lost when I asked him about the due date, so I helped him by asking, "Is it the day of the final [that the undergrads must take]?" and he shrugged and said, "Yes, May 12th or something like that, but you can get an extension if you want." Dargh! Hello, May 12 is a Saturday, by the way. Then the three of us eager grad students in my grad seminar interrogated Professor Chehabi about the paper deadline, to which he replied, "I don't have to turn the grades in until July 1. I want it to be the best paper you can write." Gah.
So here I am, imagining that my pages of notes mock me, daring me to mold them into a coherent piece of work. But the worst part is that I have to do it on my own time, practically. What is it about pressure that forces us to act? Why can't I finish things in a timely manner out of my own natural premonitions?
At least I have a major group project due Wednesday, and there's no fudging that date because it involves presenting recommendations to The Women's Lunch Place for future public relations practices. For that I must rise up early tomorrow to meet with my group.
After last night's babysitting fiasco at our friends the Sondereggers, I will surely sleep soundly. Megan and Paul (the parents) went to NYC and asked us to stay with the kids overnight. Heidi made regular coffee on accident before we went to bed, which kept our hearts racing, and Somee crawled in to sleep with us around 5:30am. When we got up an hour later, I stumbled about, coffeeless and stiff, to ready the kids for school, searching for the car keys that I failed to find until after I sent the kids off with the neighbors who agreed to take them instead. Heidi made oatmeal, of which they ate about two bites each. We sent them to school with their lunches in plastic freezer bags instead of lunchboxes. Somee packed her baby dolls in another freezer bag, a creepy scene reminiscent of Brave New World. She toted the bag of babies in a picnic basket. I took both of them across in the rain, perplexed enough at wakefulness to neglect the fact that the packages they carried were quite unwieldy. But they didn't seem to mind. Who needs lunchboxes, anyway?
Needless to say, I've been exhausted. Add another point to the side of "un"-motivation.
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April 20, 2007
Hot Fuzz
Go see it, by all means, if only to get a Timothy Dalton fix. He is the highlight of this movie - or rather, a highlight. There are many...plenty of thrilling swan chases, shockingly gory "accidents," ridiculous Dalton one-liners, and rip-shootin' military ammo confrontations with the elderly citizens in the town square. Most of all it's hilarious.
Now I simply must see Shaun of the Dead, Wright's and Pegg's previous work. Fellow bostonblogging friends recommended it, I wasn't convinced, and now I am. I will like this horror parody as much as you will love this action thriller parody. Another one destined for cult classic-ness. Mostly because of the name "Hot Fuzz." What does it even mean?
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April 16, 2007
sign of the times
This is telling.
I think studies like this have been conducted before, with similar results. Why am I not surprised, and why do I get upset when people scoff at the idea of these Comedy Central shows as legitimate news sources? For two simple reasons: 1) cable and network new shows are laughable and often ridiculous and uninformative themselves and 2) it's not as if The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are fabricating stories...they're just making fun of them (and making fun of the people who tell them on cable and the networks). I, for one, have recognized many terms and ideas in my classes because I watch these shows. The daily ritual kills two birds with one stone, keeping me up to date on current events and providing comedic stress relief.
As for Fox News, they didn't need to create their own fake news show...they were already funny.
The results about knowledge of political leaders don't surprise me, either, although they're still alarming. Only 69% knew Cheney was VP? And why has no one heard of Scooter Libby? If Bush's approval ratings are so low, shouldn't most people also know who his scandal-mongers are, just to reinforce their position? Whatever. The fallout from the case wasn't quite as dramatic as Fox and CNN hoped for anyway.
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April 09, 2007
"You are no longer in danger."
So I think my guerrilla warfare professor is a messenger from God, or at least an earthly symbol of my salvation in Christ or something. A month ago, I failed the midterm, for many complicated reasons that I won't describe ('twas the first test I'd ever failed...including grade school). He offered a makeup test, a second chance, to those who wanted to retake it. For me, there was no other option. I obsessed over the test for the next few weeks, an obsession that climaxed last week, holy week, when I finally took it after studying for days on end.
However, a few nights before the test, I had a strange dream. My professor role-played as a priest at a confessional, and I was the sinner. He ducked back into a closet (not sure why) and told me to confess my sins. For some reason, I started listing off adjectives: "Well, I'm apathetic, I'm lazy, I'm..."
"No, no, no," he interrupted. "You are took focused on your works, try something else."
"I'm not normally focused on works! I'm a Calvinist!" I stubbornly replied (I tend to be condescending in my dreams). "But okay - I believe that I'm saved by the grace of God, and that salvation comes from Jesus Christ."
He nodded in satisfaction and stepped out of the closet into the church, and then I woke up.
If that's not a direct message from God, I'm not sure what is. I still worried about the test (would the London people still accept me this summer if I failed? would I have to take his class again?). But I felt a little better. I took the test, wrote what I knew, and felt moderately okay about it. That whole I week I was in a bad mood, though, for reasons mentioned in my previous entry.
Then today I sat in class, waiting for it to start, and he approached me and sat a couple seats over. Oh no, I thought. This can't be good. "Miss Kaufmann, what went wrong on your midterm?" Crap. "I mean, on the original midterm, because you wrote a very good makeup." Ah, relief! I explained to him the various possible reasons, and he nodded in compliance.
"Well, I thought perhaps something just clicked,"he said, gesturing and getting up. "At any rate, you are no longer in danger."
What a message to hear at Easter. I'm not one for cheesy stories, nor would I call this a direct allegory, but I do like to see metaphors of salvation in my own narratives, reflected in some timely dreams and well-placed dialogue. The story is meaningful because God reminded me that ultimately I shouldn't rely on myself nor worry about what tomorrow brings, for "today has enough troubles of its own." The story of Easter is the story of God rescuing us from danger; the relief I feel about doing well on the test pales in comparison to the relief I feel at the power of the resurrection. Keeping it all in perspective prevents the stress of school from overwhelming me. So whether my prof is a metaphor or a messenger from God, at the very least he's helped me relax a bit more, albeit unwittingly.
Posted by laurajuanita at 10:54 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
April 04, 2007
in which my good mood is held hostage
Does anyone else think the newly released British (male) sailor hostages are, um...pretty cute? And they're all dressed like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! Go figure!
Why does everyone keep blocking youtube? First Turkey, now Thailand. Oh, perhaps I'm being culturally insensitive.
Well, I'm in a cynical mood because today's been a horrible day. Except for a bright light in the middle that was my Transnational Shi'ism class, I had to take a test at 9 this morning and another at 6:30 this evening. And I'm sick, with a horrid cough and a stomachache. Plus, it snowed. And it was wet. I'm too consumed with schoolwork right now to care about the weather, but there's no arguing that the weather subliminally affects my mood. So here I am, disgruntled about the weather and angry that my prof asked about one of the FEW concepts with which I wasn't familiar and I proceeded to BS the answer, but I'm about to eat one of Heidi's brownies. And it's Holy Week! There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Posted by laurajuanita at 08:40 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 01, 2007
april fool's
"This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."
Mark Twain
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