highlights from RAGBRAI XXXIV

1) I biked (almost) 100 miles in one day. We could never figure out if they had measured the century loop to equal exactly 100 miles. It was at least 92.
2) Our team, Team Jimnasty, sang patriotic songs as we drafted in two-line formation, and a man by the side of the road saluted us.
3) Also in that draft line we sang "Goodbye, Fiedler" as we passed Fiedler; we cycled through about four rounds of the song before we actually passed him.
4) Lance Armstrong told us that the war against cancer should be our number one priority: "We have 9/11 every two days in this country!"
5) Heidi fell and hit her head, and Ben asked her if she had symptoms of pregnancy, prompting Aaron to ask if the crash had made her pregnant.
6) Aaron and/or Tami said, "Greater is the cheese that is in you than the cheese that is in the world." That was at the Pastafari as Aaron "cheesed" his zucchini pasta.
7) We were so hungry at the Amana Colonies restaurant that we sent 10-year old Eliot to steal leftover bread from other tables.
8) Speaking of Eliot, he biked 70 miles in one day, and 240 overall.
9) Ben, tired of the usual RAGBRAI speak and yet resigned to the favorite RAGBRAI activity, at one point announced, "Beer up...Beer back...Beer left...Beer right."
10) A mile-long bridge traversing a lake met us after Polk City. Dave and I dropped the hammer together over the panorama of water.
11) Ron, Aaron, Anna, and I swam in Redfield with a very hairy man (Heidi said he looked like A Man Of The River) who, equally frustrated with the uninterrupted hills, suggested we build a giant downhill ramp from the tip of the Rockies to Missississippi, and then bike it.
12) Sometimes we followed Teams Brewhaha and Goodbeer to the best beer in town, but most of the time it was just cool to know they existed.
13) In Waukee we crowded with a thousand other bikers in the school cafeteria during a severe midnight thunderstorm, just after a communist-style PA system announced to everyone outside that we should seek shelter. Ben thought it was God talking to him in his sleep, and Heidi conjectured that God was judging RAGBRAI for entertaining so many primitive vices at such a heightened level all week.
14) I watched Lance's peleton (including Joe, Ben, and Joel) zip through Mitchellville and thought, man, I'm glad I'm actually experiencing RAGBRAI, the way it should be. You wanna Livestrong, you gotta take your time, eat the pork chops and smoothies. We'll see how he does next year.

Three major things I learned from the ride this year. First, if I were to prepare a small town for the RAGBRAI onslaught, I would know exactly how to do it. Water, water, porta-potties, more porta-potties, lotsa porta-potties, food, even more porta-potties, and water...some for drinking, some for drenching. Those are the essentials, my friends. Everything else is just for fun. Some towns/townships seemed to forget that. Oh, and don't advertise or sell hot cocoa. Wow, what a bad idea. Second, the experience speeds up friend-making. There is nothing like adversity and common experience to force you into friendship with people you would rarely talk to under normal circumstances. The great thing about RAGBRAI is that there are about 10,000 potential friends, all doing the exact same idiotic thing. Finally, the ride compels you to live in the moment. All you can think about is climbing that next hill. We thought about it for about 17,400 feet. Sheesh. Anyone want to suggest ever again that Iowa is flat? I would take you back in time and set you on my bike and send you through those same 461 miles.

P.S. I have to give credit to Dad, the faithful sagwagoner, for clarifying revelations 2 and 3. He actually put into words what I was already processing in my mind.
P.P.S. Tried to post pics, but it wouldn't work. I'll try again later.